Can I be the first to admit that I'm struggling!! Three kids is hard, & I am hard on myself. I demand perfection of myself (not of my kids), but when I can't keep up with the house & give all three kids all the attention they demand I beat up on myself. And then I wonder why I'm so unhappy. Life has so many demands & I'm not doing a good job at prioritizing. Last night I was talking to Jeff & telling him that I didn't have a desire try anymore he said, "Can I give you one of your mother's day presents early?" Of course I said yes, but I was wondering why he wasn't giving me any advice or help. He came up with a book called Daughters of God, by M. Russell Ballard. I started to cry, somehow I knew without even reading the book that this was the answer to my prayers. I thank my Heavenly Father for Jeff & for his willingness to obey the promptings of the Spirit to get this book for me. I started the book last night & burst into tears, it described EXACTLY how I was feeling... "There are moments of great joy & incredible fulfillment, but there are also moments of a sense of inadequacy, monotony & frustration. Mothers may feel they receive little or no appreciation for the choice they have made." It's so nice to hear those words from someone else, somebody else knows EXACTLY how i feel. And it's ok to feel that way! As I read on it asked this question: "What can you do, as a young mother, to reduce the pressure & enjoy your family more?"
As I've thought about that question as I've gone about my day today, I realize that life isn't about having perfection in everything I do. As long as I try my best in raising my children how my Heavenly Father wants them raised & that probably means that I have to let my house stay a little dirty. "It is crucial to focus on our children for the short time we have them with us and to seek, with the help of the Lord, to teach them all we can before they leave our homes."
I love my children and am so grateful for the opportunity I have to be a mother. Despite the enormous amount of pressure I feel to teach them the gospel so they can make the right choices when they're faced with temptations, I know I have my Heavenly Father's help. He's there, listening to me & helping me. I have a renewed desire to be a better mom & live in the moments that bring me happiness & joy.
8 comments:
We all feel that way at times...yet this, too, shall pass. We need to remember that our little ones grow up very quickly and soon they will be gone. The house and other "things" can wait, but they can't. Focus on what is important and the rest will fall into place more easily...housework isn't important when you have 3 beautiful children who need your attention more. Keep up the great work!
Aubs, I love your honesty! I'm pretty sure every Mom goes through the same up's and down's. Thanks for sharing your inspiration and focus. You're a great Mom and your kids are so lucky to have you. I'm glad that book could help you regain your focus. You're great.
Thank you for sharing!! You have such a wonderful husband who wants you to be happy, he knows of your great worth!!!!! You are wonderful. I am so greatful for a loving Heavenly Father who cares about every detail of our lives.
I would like to meet the mom who doesn't feel this way every once in awhile. I have my 6mth break- downs where motherhood just gets so frustrating, routine and seems my efforts are unnoticed. Then out of the blue one child will teach me that they are listening, and it encourages me.I get some time away and try to focus an hour each day on me--sometimes that doesn't happen.
I hear the 3rd is the hardest. I don't remember ever raising my voice this much before the third came:) There is just too much to do and not enough time. At the end of the day I look at my
"list" and I feel frustrated that I didn't get enough done, and right now there is a pile of dishes, and 6 loads of laundry for tomorrow. I don't even want to think about the tiring day of taking care of the house,laundry, dinner, visiting my grandma, my calling responsibilities, finishing the garden and CERT training that night. Yet, at the top of the list I know should be spending time with the kids. I review each night if I spent enough time with them- did I focus on them when they told me something important to them? Did I lose my temper---my little guy is well behaved 4/7 days... I jsut remember that tomorrow is another day. I also try to remember what everyone tells me--that one day they will be grown up and I will miss these times. Some things I wonder if I will miss:) But when I pull down my covers and find a t-rex by my pillow or a sweet "love note" from my 5 year old I know that I will wish for these moments when they are grown.
Aubrey,I think we all have our moments and it is totally normal..What a great book with lots of great reminders of the things that are really important...OUR KIDS!! You are a great Mom!! Sure love ya!
Oh Aubrey, thank you for posting this & I am just aching to read that book now. I think this is all part of our 'mortal experience' here on earth and if we didn't feel these emotions we wouldn't ever strive to do better, be better and just take the time. After 3 years of feeling this way soooo many times, 8mo ago I can up with a plan that WORKS and I feel 100% different in my life and my families. I would love to share sometime. THough I am NOT saying I have everything under control & do not ever feel like this, cause I do girl, it just only last about an hour & then it is gone. You are a FABULOUS mom, you can tell by your children & how happy they always are. What a wonderful husband you have to be so in tune. You are GREAT!
Well Said! Love ya!
I think you are a great mom. I also struggle with this same thing and I just have two. My favorite days are where I do nothing but play with my kids they are happier and I am too! Nothing like being able to be a kid again! Just wish I could afford a maid! Maybe we could split the cost and hire one together they only have to do upstairs that counts as one house right?! -Your neighbor, Cheryl Ü
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